It’s my lunch break and instead of going out to eat, or going out for a walk, I’m at my desk. Blogging.
Who needs food and sunlight anyway?
It’s just a distraction. Could be bad for your health…you know, that sunlight.
Anyway, I need to think! Ogle! Drool! I need to take in the beauty that is the Cumberbatch!
I’m such a fickle girl, I know. I bounce from English crush to crush quicker than Jennifer Lopez goes from …well, you know.
This month’s lucky man is Benedict Cumberbatch.
Granted, I’ve had my eye on him for a while now but failed to admit it, didn’t really want to recognize it, but finally I can’t hold it in anymore. There’s something about the man—maybe it’s the cheekbones or his eyes. It could be the way his upper lip is shaped like the top half of a heart, the way his waist goes in and introduces the finest male bum on the face of this earth. Or perhaps it’s his voice. Not too deep. Not too high. Just soothing enough to put you at peace, but rough enough to put you in heat?
Was that too much?
It could also be the buttons on his shirt. How they always seem to be ready to burst as if to say “Baby, I’m here and ready.”
And I’m not the only one that’s been Cumberbatched.
By the way,it’s a verb now—Cumberbatch. “I will Cumberbatch you.” “Oh, I wouldn’t mind being Cumberbatched.” What it means exactly, I’m not really sure. But its catching on!
There is a nation of Cumberbitches out there. And that’s not me being vulgar, that’s actually what they call themselves. The Cumberbitches. Bless them. Go to Tumblr, they’re all there spreading the Cumberbatch love!
But what is it exactly that gets women fantasizing about the man?
Even he’s not sure. Often times referring to himself as a Horse face-arsed named actor, Cumberbatch doesn’t get his appeal. In an interview on some talk show, while dicing a tomato (the Cumberbitches know which interview I’m talking about), the host put an egg next to his head—she went on to say I have eggs Benedict (not a funny joke) and he replied with “oh I thought you were going to say I had an egg shaped head”
Really. This is what the man thinks of himself.
The truth is, he doesn’t exactly fit the cookie cutter image of male beauty but that’s what makes him all the more appealing. In a world of look-alike, plastic, fake, wannabe Barbie and Ken Dolls, he is the Cumberbatch. Its this deviation from the male beauty standard that makes him seem somewhat attainable to we plain Janes. Granted, I’m pretty sure most Cumberbitches don’t believe they’ll end up with the guy or even get to meet him. But that doesn’t mean they don’t fantasize about it!
When he revealed in an interview that his greatest disappointment was not having children by the age of 32, Cumberbitches everywhere offered up their ovaries. I’ll admit, after reading this interview, I felt more attracted to him. Maybe it was his vulnerability that got me.
Who wouldn’t offer up their ovaries, though?! The man is beautiful.
He’s also admitted, perhaps in jest, that he is indeed a damn good shag. This, of course, got Cumberbitches squealing everywhere.
And did I mention he has a great ass?
I dare you to watch him in “Sherlock,” “Third Star,” or even in the short film “Inseparable.” Do it, and you too will be Cumberbatched. You may not want to admit it at first, but I guarantee it, you will.
Ok, Shirley. Lunch is over.
Back to work.
By the way, here’s a link to the trailer for Sherlock series 2. If you haven’t already seen it, I suggest you do. It’s brilliant!
And if you want to read more about the awesomeness that is Benedict Cumberbatch, check out Third Star’s Production Blog here